Are things rough in your relationship and you don’t know where to start? We’ve been there and we have the first step for you to take before you even talk to your partner about what’s wrong. Don’t make the mistake most people make by missing this step. Get this secret now! Keep Reading
Here's Why You are the First Step
Many times we think if only our partner would change, things would be better. The problem with this is that we can’t do anything to change our partner.
Rather than leaving you helpless, we want to empower you with the right secret that can inspire your partner to be their best self.
After all, we can only change ourselves, we can’t change anyone else.
We’re going to share a story about a woman who was ready to divorce her husband.
After 12 years of marriage, they had nothing in common, had stopped talking and he was deeply depressed. She had tried everything to get him to talk or get help for his depression. Nothing was working.
He would not get help or work on the relationship with her nor would he tell her what was wrong.
Her heart was broken. She felt her only option was to plan a future without him.
Pausing, she stepped back and asked herself the following question: “Have I done everything that I could possibly do to fix our marriage, so that if we get divorced I will not regret my decision?”
She realized that she did not understand her husband. He thought, communicated and acted differently. She could not for the life of her get him to open up.
An "aha moment" came to her when a friend told her she had just learned about how men and women are so different. She realized that the first step she wanted to take was to make sure she understood how to communicate with her husband in a man’s language before she did anything drastic.
The story has a happy ending. After learning the basic differences between men and women, her marriage turned around. Her husband was inspired to become a better man.
It turned out that she had within her the power to bring out the best or the worst in him.
We’re not saying it was her fault, we’re sharing this story to show you how everything we do in a relationship has the power to bring out the best or worst in our partner.
The first step in fixing your relationship is to look at yourself and ask
“Is there anything I could do differently?”
If the answer is yes, then you can take the steps you need to work on yourself.
We know of many relationships that were saved and improved just because one partner decided to better themselves, even if the problems in the relationship appeared to everyone else to be the other partner’s fault.
The power is within you to start to fix your relationship.
Steps to work on yourself so that you can know how to fix your relationship:
The Power of the Pause:
Step back and take some time before you engage in an argument or make decisions about the problem. It’s impossible to make good decisions when we’re angry and upset. We may say things we’ll regret later that will make the problem worse.
Example: Make an agreement with your partner that if you get into a heated argument that you’ll both step back and talk about it when you are calm and can respect each other.
Stop the Blame Game:
Instead of focusing on what your partner did wrong, focus on yourself. You are responding to everything they do. You can’ t change them but you have the power to change how you are responding and how you let their actions effect you.
I am not your problem and you are not mine. We are not each other’s problems.
Be responsible for your own actions. If you know that part of the problem is yours. Own it with your partner and apologize. This opens up the space for them to stop feeling blamed or attacked which will never bring out the best in them or you.
Create the Space for it to Get Better:
Now that you've paused, owned your part of the problem and apologized for it. It’s time for you to put this into action. You know you have something you can do to change on your own to improve your relationship. Do it. Then take time to step back and see how your partner starts responding to you.
This is the beginning of fixing your relationship.
Want more secrets to keeping your relationship thriving? Dive deeper and get juicier information, sign up for our email updates!
Share this article with your partner and friends and ask them what they think?
What baggage do you need your partner to be accountable for? Leave your comment below. We can’t wait to hear from you!