As human beings we can have a very nasty habit of judging people before we have the chance to really get to know them. When we judge someone too quickly we collapse the future potential of a possible relationship that could have been good.
Why Do We Judge Someone so Quickly?
The main reason that we judge so quickly is because of instinct. It is much safer to judge someone and back away than it is to hold your space and get to know them better. If someone doesn't fit into who we think they need to be we leave them alone quickly because they feel dangerous to us.
This worked when we were running around as cave people, but it really isn't necessary today.
Most people are decent enough to have a conversation with them.
Why is judging too quickly a problem?
We are missing out on many potential relationships in our business and personal lives that could have caused us to thrive in many areas. Heck we’ve know some people have judged us before and we’re damn good friends and business colleagues! They didn't give us a chance to reveal who we truly were at any level.
We aren't saying that you need to ignore your gut instinct that may tell you to leave someone alone because they are trouble.
Don't ever ignore your gut!
But what about the people that are awkward or that you judge simply for how they look?
We have to call BS on this and ask you to get out of your plastic bubble and expand your world. You never know who you may meet or connect to that can make a big difference in your life.
So what are the steps that we need to take to stop judging someone too quickly? Notice that we said too quickly.
We aren't going to become mindless here with a lack of judgment.
We can make a judgment later after gathering enough information.
Next Time, Pump the Brakes on Judging too Quickly and Do the Following:
- Pause and just listen to what they are saying and why. Stop being so worried about whether you agree with them or not and find out why they have the opinion that they have. You don't have to agree with them at all. Just respect the fact that they have a right to a different opinion.
- Give them a judgment free space. Create a no judgment conversation with them to give them freedom to express who they are. You can ask a question and then state that you won't judge, you are just curious about their thoughts.
- Stop assuming! We think the world spins around us, but it really doesn't. Most people will act on or say something based on their own situation. Stop taking everything so personally. It ain't all about you!
- We can ask for someone to not judge us too quickly when sharing a thought or idea. This will set them up to be more open.
- Ask yourself if your judgment about someone is more about the differences between masculine and feminine ways of being? These differences can complement each other really well, if we allow it. It definitely can lead to misunderstanding and jumping to a judgment that does not serve you well.
Judging people too quickly takes more effort and work. Relax and let things unfold a little. What is the rush?
Put these steps into action and share with us how you have held off on judging too quickly and formed a relationship that rocked. This is a judgment free zone.